Thursday 4 August 2011

Day 94 - The mental torture increases

I set off early again this morning and got 4 miles out of the way before breakfast. The amount of miles left to run (305) was really starting to play on my mind. Basically, I just want this run over with now. I really feel like running non stop all the way to New York. That's not going to happen though. Discipline while taking a few calculated risks at the right time is the way forward over the remaining 7 days.

I told the support team that I would run the next 15 miles unsupported. I needed to get away from the security of the support team and get my head in the right place. This was no easy task and almost every step was matched with thoughts about just how close I was to the finish, while not being quite close enough. The conflict in my mind was driving me absolutely potty. I can only liken it to the desperation for Christmas to arrive when I was a kid. I'd choose the toys in the Autumn and spend the next few months hoping that Santa would being them. The waiting was agonising! This is very much the same kind of wait. 4 years of my life have been spent planning, preparing and training for this run. It's all about to come to an end. It's agonising! It could drive you mad if you let it. Or even worse, it could make you quit. I can see why people do give up on these events. They are not for the weak of mind.

As well as the mental torture I was going through, the various pains in my feet made me feel quite sick to my stomach. I've got some very strange blister action going on. They are proving difficult to drain and take up too much time to do so. I need to be out there running!

Speaking to Gary and Lisa on the Real Radio Breakfast followed by The 3 Legends helped take my mind off the pain in my feet. More importantly, the piece I recorded for the breakfast show was the frankest interview I've given to date. I talked about the mental battle and just how much I believe in the 2 charities that I'm raising funds for.

The afternoon session was very hilly with a major climb that went on for miles. Carlton joined me for the final 5 miles of the day and I stopped having ran 39.4 miles. It was dark and the roads were getting very dangerous. I stopped running in the nick of time, actually. A very impressive thunderstorm started right above the RV. I had no trouble getting off to sleep though!

Today's breakfast, lunch and dinner were all sponsored by Andy Duffy.